I love you Chhota Bhai

Whenever i pen down an Article, i will feel my heart. And if my heart tells me i should, i would carry on with my writing. Because what i believe is that without the adknowledge from my heart, that piece of article i write has no soul in it. It's just my blabbering isn't it?

7 Nov 2010

This is a special day, it use to be a normal day for me but it's a special day now. It's been 18 days since i'm here in Singapore, i felt alot of change in me. If peers are around me, you will know it. I seldom play game anymore, i seldom talk on msn. Because the time i use to play game, has been use on watching Hindi movie and listen to Hindi songs. The time i use to use on MSN has been used on Gtalk. Funny isn't it? How a trip can change someone? Or to say, it changes my life.

Do remind me later, to tell you guys why 7 Nov 2010 is a special day :)

I use to think that India is a dangerous country, because i have to take care of my wallet incase someone picks it. I have to refrain from talking to beggers because they will come and crowd around me. I have to look out for everything. That was what i use to think it's dangerous.

But when i came back Singapore and saw what had happen during halloween, everything thing simply just changed.

A 19 year old boy was killed, why? You would ask, because this 19 year old boy stare at another guy while celebrating halloween. The guy who got stared was not happy about the stare (we use to call it staring incident in Singapore) so what he did, he prepare a knife, he hold it, he went over to the guy and he slash on him. A total of 10 slash was make on him and before he could even reach the hospital, he died.

Now, i was thinking Singapore is a Dangerous Country. Isn't it?

Compare to the dangerous i use to think, i felt that i was so childish. How could that happen? Some would ask. I would have say, the culture.

I don't know whether this would have happen in India, I don't think so, because i would have slash all Indians because they stare at me at every step i make. What so bothered about the stare?

If i stare at you, and u said: why are you staring? I would have said: If you never stare at me, how would you know i stare at you? wouldn't I? Of course, i wouldn't have said this phsically, i would said it mentally.

Back to 7 Nov 2010 (Some would be blabbering about why i have not mention about the special day)

I was not close with him seriously. I seldom see him, or maybe he's there, but i never notice him. But i knew his name all along. Because his name resemble a singer's name. So i always tell bablu that the singer is coming. He was fierce, i don't know but i felt that when Rupini, wei fang, me, ashesh and Himanshu went to CCD. But i know why he was angry.

I don't know when, i began to be close with him. I start to notice his prescene. I like his hug, even though i'm older than him, but when he hug me, it's like i'm his Chhota Bhai. But when he sat down and cry on me, i felt that i'm his Bara Bhai.

Our relationship was not what you were thinking, because this relationship was more than just what you said as 'Friendship'. It's way beyond that which i didn't expect that.

When i was in Bhubaneswar, i was upset about something, i didn't talk to him, he thought that i was angry with him. So he was angry with me, he too, didn't talk to me. He has this angry face express on his facial expression. I ignored him. Because when i'm upset, i just wanna be alone, i just wanna close myself up and not open to anyone. No one would have notice i needed that. When i came back that night, he came over to me and hug me. I did not do anything, i did not hug him back. He ask me what happen? I said: Nothing.

He stand up, and he walked into the room.

"Beep, beep" My phone rang next min.

The message goes like this: "Gary, come to the balcony, i want to talk to you."

I replied: "No, i'm not angry with you, there's nothing we could talk".

He replied: "Just come okay?"

I replied: "No, i'm really not angry with you ok? so there's nothing we could talk about".

He replied: " Please, since you are not angry and we are friend, please come. I want to talk to you".

I didn't replied, because i know when i replied, the message would be the same of me arguing not to meet him and he inisist on me meeting him. It will just go on and on.

i stay on the sofa for about 5 mins, then i decided that i should meet him.

I went into the living room, he was siting near the balcony. When i went in, he look up at me then he look down again. Then he never look up again. I went over, i was standing infront of him. He didn't talk, neither do I. But naturally i went over and push his head near me so i can hug him.

He cried.

I said: Hey come on, don't cry man. I'm not angry with you.

I stroll his hair like a bara bhai.

He said with his crying tune: Hmmm, i thou..ght you..was..an.gr.y..w.ith...me..Uh.m...

I continue to stroll his hair.

I said: No i'm not. I push his head up and said: Come on, look at me. I'm ok, i'm not angry. Come on. Look at me.

I push his head up, i can his teary red eyes. I wipe his tears off his eyes and hug him near his head.

I told him: Don't cry man, I'm not angry with you okay, don't cry any more if not you are a girl ok?

He laughed.

We was ok...

I pull him out to watch movie with me on my lap top.

He was sick that night, i went to make honey water for him and of course wet the towel and press against his nose and let him sneeze it all out. He was having a bit of fever and flu. He's like a small child, i know but i like taking care of him. I'm fine with doing all this.

After i went back Singapore, i heard alot of people told me, how he care for me, how he really show respect for me. I cried. Because i miss him, i really miss him.

Even his small action like rejecting my call makes my whole day dull. I know he is busy, but still i wanna know what's going on over there, is he alright? is he still sick? does he have fever?

People even call him my name.

Today is special because 7 Nov 2010 is his birthday. Before i disclose who he is, i would like to sing him a birthday song.

Happy Birthday toooo you.

Happy Birthday toooooo you.

Happy Birthday tooo Chhota Bhai.

Happy...Birthday...toooooooo.... You..

Hey Chhota Bhai, even though in such short time i got to know you, but you know i always cherish this chhota Bhai and Bara bhai relationship. I really treat you as my blood brother. You are my family. I have also given you my promise. and i'm serious about it. I'm not joking. I really hope you enjoy your birthday this year. I have got you a present, i wanted to DHL to your room, that's why i ask for your address. But you are going home, and back on 8th so i was thinking i should pass you your birthday present when i'm there again personally :) Please don't hate bara bhai for telling others what u felt for me, how u felt about me. Please don't hate bara bhai for telling others i like you as my family. I don't wish to lose you, neither do i want you to lose me.

Happy Birthday Gaurav Chhota Bhai.

From Suraj Bara Bhai.

Posted in: India Article