Family Love

The sitting on the lap, the smile on the face is enough to warm my heart up. This was taken when i saw this indian family on the train. Sometimes i wonder what will happen to me if I'm in such a perfect family?

My dad got divorced when i was seven years old

Yes, I'm a Seven years old kid, i shouldn't have know what 'Divorce' means, but i did.

Yes, I'm a Seven years old kid, i shouldn't have know what has happen?

Yes, I'm a Seven years old kid, i shouldn't have realise My dad is dad my mum is mum.

Yes, I'm a Seven years old kid, i shouldn't have felt the heart pain.

Yes, I'm just a Seven years old kid.

People use to say, if parents are divorce, normally the children are the one that get hurt.

I still remember, whenever i had my birthday, my mum will prepare steamboat for me, and i will always anticipate to have it with my family. That's me, that was the 6 years old Suraj Singh.

After divorced.

After my mum and dad divorce, i was left with nothing, my mum left me and bada bhai, she went to rent a house and stay alone. Me and bada bhai stays with papa, dadi and dada. That is when i started to learn dadi and dada's dialect. Dadi and Dada was good to me, they know i'm sad so food was the only thing they can give me to comfort me. From 20kg i become 40kg and it just increase significantly. By the time i'm 12 years old, i'm already 115kg. Over that few years, of struggling, and converting sadness to food, i became a fat boy. I been trying to save my papa and maa's marriage over that 5 years. I tried recording a tape asking my mum why did she agreed with this divorce, i miss those days when we are together.

By the time i realise it's impossible, probably it's too late. I let myself slip into the food paradise. I eat more than anybody in the house, i know i must not have that many food, but i can't resist. The sadness now has become numbness, and food became the solution.

I went through alot exercises when i was 11 years old. I was not allowed to have any food during break time because i was fat, the school want me to exercise instead of eating. I have to follow a tide schedule of exercises. But at that age, i don't like to listen to anybody but myself, no matter how strict the school was, i will try to slip away and have the food in the canteen. Getting caught by Sir has become so often that i have to stay back school for sport session.

When i was 12 years old

My papa met a woman, this woman use to be my dada and dadi's neighbour. This woman was divorce too with 3 daughters. And without me realising, she was dating my papa. Soon enough, this woman came to Dadi's house to stay.

Dadi stays in a 3 room flat, 3 room flat means there is 2 rooms and 1 living room. Papa, me and bada bhai stays in a room, Dadi and Dada stays in one room. So when this woman came to stay in Dadi's house, we was "chase" out of the room and we sleep in the living room.

What was that? you must be asking, but that's that.

Soon i graduated from Primary school and need to get into a secondary school (7th grade). By the time i got my result and was suppose to chose a secondary school, my dad got remarried.

I still remember that day when i went back home from school, wardrobe and bed was move down from Dadi's house. I felt puzzled so i went up to find Dadi.

It was then, i get to know Papa marry her in the morning while i was collecting my result in school.

I didn't want to stay with them, i don't want, Nahi! Nahi! Came to my mind. I'm not going to stay with them! I ran to the room, and call my maa.

Maa: Halo

Suraj: Maa, it's me, Suraj

Maa: What happen Suraj?

Suraj: Papa jsut got married! I don't want to stay with them Maa. Please Maa, i don't want

Maa: Silence..

Suraj: Maa.. Please, i want to stay with you.. Please Maa.

Maa: How's your exam?

Suraj: Fine, i got 170 and i'm eligible for 7th grade. Can i stay with you and study there?

Maa: Have you ask your papa?

Suraj: Nahi, i'm not asking his permission Maa, i just want to stay with you.

Maa: Call your dad here.

I went to call Papa to answer the call.

Papa was talking to Maa for quite sometime, then the phone was pass back to me.

Maa: Suraj boy, i told your dad you are coming to stay with me.

Suraj: Really? Really? Pakka maa?

Maa: Pakka Son, you stay in Dadi's house first, i will come and fetch you tomorrow and look through which school you want to study in.

Suraj: Thik hai Maa, Thank you Maa. I love you.

And i hang up the phone.

I went to Maa's place to stay, that was when i started to slim down, from 115kg to 100kg and decreasing to 70kg. I told myself, i need to slim down, i don't want to be that clumsy and fat anymore, i don't want to always eat and eat.

It was then, my maa started to pass down her cooking skill to me. She teach me every evening how to prepare a meal, and i will learn whole heartedly from her.

You must be thinking where's Bada bhai?

Bada bhai went to stay with my papa, but was chase out by my step mother, papa didn't say anything, so? Bada bhai went over to stay with us.

How pathetic my family was? isn't it?

Which is why, i love to have friends as my brothers. I love to have their love and care, because i'm lack of that bhai.