For what i had done is it wrong? no i learn to understand...

Before I starts my story, i will just make a small introduction.

I used to have a happy and cheerful family but this family did not end like most folktales. They did not live happily everafter but they live sadly everafter. I have a brother, he is now in the army and he is bigger then me four years old.

As for my father, he is a superviser for construction worker. Then my mother, after divorcing with my father he leave the image of an housewife but became a cashier in orchard, she work there for five year till now.

After all this years of all the things that had happened. I had learn to understand my family. I learn on the way they think i learn to care for their feeling. To all of you who read my story, you may not have experience it but when you learn how to understand you know that its really a great thing.

When i was born onto this world, i do not know what i must do till now i UNDERSTAND. Thinking on my past, i leave my old house had about eight years. I live in Yishun and i study at Northland Primary School.

When my parent choose to divorce, i was primary two which is 7 years old. At my age i do not know what is 'divorce' because i was too small to know what is 'divorce' if i know that then i would have been in the gifted class. The house was sold and the money was given equally between my mother and father. But because my father is taking care my brother and i so my mother gives my father the majority of the money.

My mother went to live with her friends and for us we went to my father's mother house to live which is our grandmother. My grandmother is 60 years old now and she is living in redhill in a three-room flat. You all may not heard about this place but it exist in singapore. I moved over to my grandmother house and lives with her, from that time i always miss my mother and i also do not know why i am seperate from my mother.

My father, brother and me live in a room together . My uncle found me a school around the area and it was name Keng Seng Primary School. The school is still there but it is now use as a school where children(handicapped) study. As for my school it merge with 3 school and was name as Gan Eng Seng Primary School.

I graduate from this school, I studies there for four years. When i first went into the school, i had no friends at all because i was new to the environment. I was primary 3 when i first came to the school, i was very slim when i was living with my mother but after i left my old house and went to live with my grandmother i became chubby. But even of my size i took up quite many 'ECA' which is known as 'CCA' now. I took up about 4 'CCA' which is Basketball, Badminton, Choir and Green Club. I took up so many 'CCA' because i wanted to occupied my time, i do not want to go home so early. People will grow up, my heart will grow too.

Not long i understand what happen to my parents, i understand what is the meaning of 'divorce'. From that time i always ask my parents to be together and not divorce but it was too late for everything. Sometimes i even record on a tape and talking alone to the tape recorder, talking to my mother why she want to divorce why she cannot be together as a family. Thinking back it was really touching. Even though, i am living with my grandmother but during weekend i will still meet my mother and stay at her friend house for two days. Sometimes i really wanted to stay with my mother i play traunt i will lie to my grandmother that on certain weekday there is no school but they found out and my father will beat me up.

But no one can understand the feeling of me when i miss my mother i only have the care of just a single parent. sometimes when i talk to my grandmother she will cry also because she care for me. she understand me well. Things have not really started. It starts when i was in primary six, my father came to know this woman which i found out that she was my grandmother neighbour when my father was young.

This woman came into my life and hurt me more badly. I wanted to believe that not all stepmother is wicked but she gave me the answer and had really destroy the hope of folktales. She not only destroy the image but also destroy the relationship between me and my father. My father starts going out with her, my father came home late and now he seldom come back home for dinner. My father also brought her home, my grandmother does not like her because she does not want her to be her daughter-in-law.

Things were not the way we want! After a few weeks, my father brought her back and stay overnight. We was ask to sleep in the living room and both of them sleep in the room, this was unfair. From then onwards, i gain hatred in my heart i hate him i hate her and its none other then my father and her, the woman. I was surprise they got married, the morning when they were married they told my grandparents that they going to treat them to eat 'dim sum'(one of the chinese delicacies) but actually they brought them to the 'R.O.M'(register of marriage) and was asked to sign the document. My grandparents had no choice but to sign they does not know anything about their plan of marriage.

Not long after they went to buy a house near 'enous' because i finish my 'P.S.L.E' which was the primary school leaving examination and so my father wanted me to choose a school which is a secondary school but i do not want to live with her i know i will be ill-treated and so i had decided not to go. I told my mother about it and i say that i want to live with her and not my father and she say that i can live with her but i had to study hard. During the time, i had to choose a secondary school, i got the form already.

I discuss with my father and he allows me to stay with my mother, not only that my mother apply for my custody and she brought a house using my custody because to apply for a house in singapore she needs two person which is me and herself. Moving to woodlands, i got into a new school, new environment again and its none other then admiralty secondary school. Thought to have a new start in a new school, but it was not in my way again. In this school you have to move in a steady pace, you cannot hurt anyone because they will backstab you. I personally experience the feeling of being backstab in primary school and i hate it because almost the whole class done that to me. In secondary school, i got backstab and got disturb by students. I do not like them but what can i do? beat them up? fight with them? no no no, thats not i want i just wanted a peace place where friends care for each other and UNDERSTAND each other.

Maybe i do not have this chance because being in the class itself already drive me to dead end. Not the school is bad the school is fine with me the principal is good she is a caring person but nobody knows that, they just think that she is so fierce and bad. but have all of you ever think that if you had not done any thing wrong will the principal scolds you will you get punishment? let me tell you no, you will not get any punishment. the problem is the students, if i tell you all this you all will agree with me. Some student do have attitude problem and some are attention seekers and more worst at this age of 16 they still backstab people this shows that they are really childish. My teacher told me do not care what others say what others gossip about you. You just prove them wrong, but you know i have feeling too. i am still human i still have a heart and not like people when they tend to gossip someone they did not think of theirs feeling. It hurts really much.

What can i do i just write all my pain inside my songs all my feeling inside the songs. Over all this things that happen in school in my real life, i learn how to understand. I learn how to understand my parents i understand that my parents divorce may not be what they want but it may be the best way to end the fight. In school, i understand that not everyone has the problem some or maybe a minority of them are that type of people but just ignore their childish act. Not only that most importantly i learn to respect other, if you do not respect others how can you expect respects from others. So i choose to leave them alone. Below is one of the song i wrote , the lyrics is written by me but the tune is taken from one of the chinese song. this is wrote when i was really sad i put in all my pain,feeling,care and forgiveness inside.

Posted in: What i had done?